A 28-year-old software engineer at Google has sparked a raw public debate about life on the H-1B, posting on Reddit that she is weighing a return to India despite a prized job and a planned wedding. Her message, shared in r/returntoindia, lays out a conflict familiar to many immigrants: career progress in the United States versus the quiet ache of distance from parents and siblings.
She left a stable role at Apple in 2021 to pursue a U.S. master’s degree, with her parents agreeing in hopes she would come home within three years. After graduating, she joined Google on an H-1B visa, and now finds herself pulled between two paths.
“I’m not sure I want to live far away from my family forever,” she wrote, describing her mother’s loneliness and guilt over a brother who moved to Canada.
Her personal story lands at a tense moment. As of August 18, 2025, H-1B rules and procedures are in flux, while company budgets and hiring plans remain cautious. According to analysis by VisaVerge.com, policy changes and stricter review standards have added stress to already complex timelines. Official guidance on H-1B eligibility and process remains available through U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services at https://www.uscis.gov/working-in-the-united-states/temporary-workers/h-1b-specialty-occupations.
In her post, the engineer also describes a three-and-a-half-year relationship and plans to marry next year. Her partner wants to remain in the United States, hoping to save and retire early. She is less sure. The couple has considered transferring to India: she could move to a Bengaluru team at Google, and he could likely secure a data scientist role there.
Commenters proposed other middle paths too, including moves to Europe, Singapore, or the UAE to be closer to parents while keeping career options open.
Online responses urged patience and planning. Some suggested setting a clear long-term goal and taking small steps toward it. Others recommended frequent trips to India—twice a year if possible—to ease homesickness. The tone matched a wider unease across H-1B communities: the sense that big life decisions—marriage, caregiving, buying a home—are hostage to policies that can shift quickly.
Policy changes and context
Several developments in 2024 and 2025 frame the backdrop for her choice. These shifts have changed the calculus for many H-1B holders and applicants.
- With President Trump’s return to office on January 20, 2025, rules affecting H-1B workers tightened. The administration moved toward a merit-based allocation that favors higher wages and advanced skills, replacing random selection.
- Workers at client sites now face annual visa renewals, increasing paperwork and risk. Employers report heavier documentation demands and more compliance checks.
- Separately, on January 17, 2025, the Department of Homeland Security issued a final rule (under the prior administration) to modernize parts of the H-1B program. That rule:
- made lottery selection beneficiary-centered to curb multiple registrations for the same person,
- expanded eligibility for some founders and entrepreneurs,
- relaxed the strict link between degrees and specialty occupations by allowing equivalent experience,
- and smoothed cap-gap relief for F-1 students moving into H-1B status.
Those changes offer openings for talent, but they come with closer oversight and additional scrutiny.
Interview waiver removal and timing
Another major shift arrives this fall. Starting in September 2025, most H-1B workers seeking visa renewals must attend in-person interviews at U.S. consulates, as the Interview Waiver pathway largely ends. Expected consequences include:
- added travel,
- longer wait times,
- higher costs,
- and greater disruption for families who split time between countries.
The lottery for FY 2026, run in March 2025, remained highly competitive, with roughly two-thirds of eligible registrants not selected despite anti-fraud steps.
Together, these actions have increased uncertainty and amplified the tradeoffs for anyone deciding whether to build a permanent life in the United States or look elsewhere. For the engineer at the heart of this story, the choice is not just about policy — it is about parents growing older, a partner’s plans, and a sense of where “home” should be.
Important: Policy timelines and requirements are changing rapidly. Always consult official sources and company immigration counsel for case-specific guidance.
Impact on applicants and families
In practical terms, H-1B workers and their employers face three immediate pressures:
- Stricter selection and review standards
- Harder for new grads and entry-level roles to qualify.
- People with mid-career pay and niche skills fare better, but they should plan for requests for evidence and audits.
- In-person visa renewal interviews (starting Sept 2025)
- More logistics: booking consular slots, gathering documents, budgeting for delays.
- A family visit can turn into a multi-week wait if consular backlogs grow.
- Emotional and life-planning costs
- Many delay marriage, fertility treatment, home purchases, or caregiving because one denial can upend everything.
The engineer’s case shows how that strain ripples through relationships. She and her partner see a future together, yet their timelines differ.
- A move to India could bring her closer to parents but may slow his U.S.-based savings goals.
- Staying in the U.S. could mean better pay and benefits, but at the price of missing daily family life.
Couples in similar spots often test temporary steps before making a permanent call:
– remote work stints in India,
– rotational assignments,
– or third-country moves.
Employer strategies and alternate pathways
Employers also face choices. Tech firms like Google can sometimes arrange intra-company transfers to India to retain talent while easing personal pressures. However, rising compliance costs and uncertainty may chill sponsorship for new roles. Some hiring managers now prefer candidates with:
- portable status,
- or permanent residency in other hubs (for example, Canada 🇨🇦),
to reduce risk.
Canada’s Express Entry draws continue to attract H-1B workers who want a predictable path to permanent residence and job flexibility after arrival. Community posts describe families who kept U.S. jobs during transition periods, then relocated north once status cleared.
Community response and takeaway
Reddit and similar forums provide frank talk about tradeoffs. The engineer’s thread showed empathy rather than judgment: readers did not question her success at Google; they asked whether it felt worth it without daily time with parents.
Common discussion points included:
– tips on flights and employer travel policies,
– how to have partner conversations during long-distance phases,
– and practical steps to test a move before committing permanently.
Key takeaway:
– The decision to stay or return involves policy realities, family dynamics, career goals, and personal values. For many, experimenting with temporary moves or third-country options offers a way to balance those demands while keeping longer-term options open.
This Article in a Nutshell
A Google engineer on H-1B weighs returning to India, balancing family ties and a planned marriage against shifting U.S. policies. Merit-based H-1B rules, annual renewals, and September 2025 interview requirements increase uncertainty. Temporary transfers, third-country moves, or Canada Express Entry emerge as practical alternatives to manage career and family goals.
